Always my sister, Always my friend

This post is going to be a special post for my little sister because it was her birthday this week.

I say little sister. She was 19 this week so no longer little really. More like a grown woman now. It really does feel like yesterday when we were young with no responsibilities.

Having a sister is like having a best friend who will never leave. No matter how many arguments and fallouts you have you always seem to find a way to laugh it off and before you know it your back to being best friends again. It is someone to tell your secrets to, someone to moan to (and about) and someone who you know will be there for you no matter what.

Some of my best memories have been with her and if she is reading this she will know what I am on about. Being the big sister, it is my responsibility to try my best to wind her up as much as possible. There were times when looking back now it’s hard to imagine how she got through her childhood undamaged.

Does anyone remember them games people used to send you and you had to go dead close to the screen to find something and then something scary would jump out. Well, I thought it would be funny to show this to her.

She must have been around 7 or 8, and she unknowingly sat in front of the computer then out of nowhere this thing jumped out. And she screamed. Lots. I got into so much trouble by my mum. Don’t get me wrong, she gave back as good as she got. For example, if we were play fighting she would pretend to be hurt and would shout something like “Oww, get off”, and guess who got into trouble. ME! The one thing I admire about her is that she doesn’t let anyone walk all over her.

We weren’t always out to get each other. The nicest memory and something I miss now we’re older is how special Christmas used to be, and how we used to plan the whole thing from what time we would go to bed to what time we could sneak out of my room unnoticed to get our presents sacks from the landing.

This would take weeks of planning, and we even used to create a plan of the night. Sounds sad I know but we were young. We never really stuck to the plan and normally fell asleep before midnight. In the morning we would go into mum and dads room and she would always sit on mums legs and me on dads and we would open our presents.

There are too many things I could write here and I’m sure we have many memories to make in the future, but the reason for this post is a bit more than just because it’s her birthday.

It’s a chance for me to say how proud I am of her and how far she has come from such a bad place when our world fell apart. No one should have to go through that so young. She has grown into a beautiful strong woman and if anything losing our mum has shown me is just how true this is.

And I can’t finish this post without mentioning just how much of an incredible auntie she is to little bear.

Always remember, your always my sister, always my friend.

 

Learning to love me

If you remember a while back where I wrote about starting a diet, and I was looking for different ways I could track what I was eating that didn’t cost me a fortune. I mentioned I had been on Weight Watchers, which was good, but I found that it’s a lot of money to pay for someone to tell you that you put on a pound. I also felt really restricted in what I could eat even though I thought I was eating relatively healthily. By the time I had pointed my breakfast and lunch, I had next to no points left for my tea, and I found that I was always hungry, which led to me overindulging.

After that post, someone suggested I used MyFitnessPal, which tracks my calories. This app is mainly free but there is the option to upgrade to the full version to access all the features. It gives you a daily calorie budget after you put in your gender, height, weight and your goal weight. I’ve used this app before but I’ve never really liked the layout and found it quite confusing.

The first couple of days of using MyFitnessPal were really good. Everything I ate went on there and I could see exactly what I had eaten, but then after the novelty wore off I kind of just forgot to update the app. Then before I knew it, I was sat eating chocolate, miserable again. That app just wasn’t for me.

It didn’t really hit me that I had lost control until I went shopping for some new bits, and nothing seemed to fit properly. So I had money and nothing to spend it on, and like normal I ended up buying something for the little bear.

I came home that night determined to find a solution and sat looking into different apps and programmes that I can use for free to get my eating right. That was when I found an app called Lose It!

Like MyFitnessPal, Lose It! gives you a daily calorie budget after you’ve put in information about your gender, goal weight etc. It also gives you a weekly calorie target and depending on how you’ve eaten, it will be over or under for the week. You can also add any exercises you do, and there’s the option to include the calories you’ve burnt into your daily budget to give you extra calories. I try my best not to use these though.

The best part though is that there are so many different foods on the database, including Aldi products, so inputting what I have had to eat couldn’t be any easier. Eating out is also not off the cards because there is a huge list of restaurants to choose from showing their menu and how many calories are in different things.

I’ve been using it now for 2 weeks and it’s kind of becoming second nature. It might sound sad but I look forward to planning my day in the morning when I get up. Something is clearly working though because 2 weeks in and I’ve already lost 6lbs. I’m also less hungry than I used to be and scoffing a whole bag of sweets in the evening is a thing of the past.

It wasn’t until I started properly measuring and portioning out my meals that I realised just how much I was overeating. My portion sizes have nearly halved, yet I am still full and satisfied afterwards, plus I can still eat treats if I have enough calories left over.

Don’t get me wrong I still eat chocolate and things I probably shouldn’t but the main thing is that when I do have a bad day, I make sure I put it in my food diary so I can see where I have gone wrong. This way it stops a bad day turning into a bad week, which normally then turns into giving up.

But not this time. I’m in this for the long run, and I’m really enjoying it and starting to learn to love me!

Tissues, tea and snuggles

So the dreaded cold has taken over my household this weekend. To top it off we’ve all caught it and so it’s been a pretty miserable couple of days. I can’t think of anything worse than a cold. The constant sniffing and blowing your nose, and the feeling like your head is stuffed with cotton wool.

It all started with the little bear having a sniffly nose on Friday and by Sunday the three of us were sat on the couch in our pj’s feeling sorry for ourselves. On the plus side, it was a good excuse to not get dressed for 2 days, and a chance to watch movies all day as a family. Our movie of choice was Coco and for anyone who hasn’t seen it, I would recommend you watch it. It was a real feel-good film. It even made me cry.

I wouldn’t like to imagine what it’s like being ill as a toddler. It’s bad enough as an adult who understands what’s going on, but for a little bear who one minute is fine and the next has a blocked nose with weird things dribbling out of it, it must be scary. But little bear has dealt with it so well and carried on being her normal happy self. Apart from 2 nights of rough sleep, which has hit me hard, we seem to be back to normal now.

Sleepless nights are something I have never really had to deal with as little bear has always been a good sleeper. If anything this makes it 10x harder when we do have bad nights because my body just isn’t used to it. But I can’t complain because I managed to get some extra cuddles while she slept and I don’t get them any more. Another downside to little bear growing up. She depends on me less and less.

Seeing your little bear suffer though does break your heart and it’s something you wish you could take away. Even if it something as little as a cold, I’m sure if you’ve ever had one you will know how draining they are. That’s why extra cuddles are readily available and who doesn’s want their mama when they aren’t well. I still do.

On a positive note, the diet I started 2 weeks ago is still going well. I managed to lose 4lb in my first week and another 2lb this week taking me to 6lb overall. Who says a cold has to stop you eating well. That’s not to say I haven’t indulged because I would be lying if I said I haven’t scoffed chocolate, but the main thing is I’ve owned up to it and know where I have gone wrong. Eating a load of rubbish comes with being ill so it’s not my fault really, and today is the start of a new week for my diet.

If anything being a parent has taught me is that you get used to having all sorts of random gunk on your clothes from slobber to snot. It’s something you kinda get used to and nothing really bothers me anymore, just comes part and parcel of the job.

But we’re back on the up now and back to the reality of work and adult responsibilities of cleaning and cooking and keeping the house running. At least I’ve got no cleaning to do till the end of the week, and I managed to get the washing done over the weekend.

It can’t just be me that hates washing and folding everything up. Surely?

The unsuccessful sleepover

When you get offered the chance to have a peaceful weekend with no baby and no other half you would be silly not to jump at the chance for some peace and quiet. It all started off so well.

Friday night and the little bear has gone to stay with daddy bear at grandad’s house. When I got home from work the house was nice and quiet which was very strange but in a nice kind of way. You don’t know how nice it is to make food without a tiny human trying their best to climb up your leg. If you do then you know where I’m coming from. After coming down with a cold my plan was to have tea, catch up on Corrie and then go to bed but as you do I ended up watching pointless rubbish on the telly, as well as Corrie. Then I had the most amazing nights sleep in a long time.

Oh, how different Saturday night was. In my house, Saturday night is strictly come dancing night. I must say to daddy bear every week when it’s on that I want to start dancing and he just laughs. My cousin also has strictly Saturdays so I thought it would be a good idea for her to stay over and watch it together when the little bear had gone to bed. Daddy bear had gone on a “rare” night out with his friends so it was the perfect opportunity.

All was going well till it came to bedtime for the little bear who had caught my cold. She was and still is so blocked up poor thing. We did the usual bed routine of teeth brushing and nappy changed etc and then because the little bear is absolutely besotted with aoiaoiaoi (Alice) she had to stay and help get her into bed. This is the point everything went west.

For some reason, she didn’t want to settle and cried and cried until we went back upstairs. I threw our tea together, inhaled it, and then went back to up to see what was the matter. It was like the bed was just not the place to be. So we brought her back down and she watched some strictly with us, dancing around the room to hopefully tire her out. It didn’t work.

I think we tried everything possible to try and get her to go to sleep. We thought we nearly had it when at one point little bear insisted that me and aoiaoiaoi had to lie on the floor with a tiny blanket over our feet. It gets better. Little bear has a box in her room where she keeps her dummy’s so she got the box and shoved a dummy in my mouth and one in Alice’s mouth then lay down in the middle of us. Trying to keep a straight face and not giggle when you need to be a responsible parent is really hard when your child is shoving a dummy in your mouth and ordering you to lie on her floor. I sometimes wonder who is really in charge.

By this point, it is around 10:45pm and still no sign of sleep. We tried watching her favourite tv programme, watching Moana and still no giving in from her part. It’s coming up to midnight now and she is still going so I had the great idea to tuck Alice into bed in the hope that would encourage the little bear to do the same. She tucked Alice in and then we went back into her room to read a story. Due to the obsession with Peppa Pig, the book of choice was, of course, Peppa Pig, but we weren’t satisfied with just reading it. We wanted to cuddle the book to sleep. At this point, I was willing to do anything if it meant she fell asleep.

It worked! Within 5 minutes she was asleep. Absolutely zonked, and after 30 mins or so I moved her into her bed and she didn’t even flinch she was that tired. My only issue was now I was that wired I couldn’t sleep myself so I was sat on the phone to April watching the X-factor in the early hours of the morning.

So my life lesson from last night is if you want some proper peace and no drama when you have kids, then keep dreaming! I am one tired mama bear today

🐻

When did you get so big?​

I really need to get back into the habit of writing on here more often because I seem to have dropped off.  I feel that it might be down to my lack of motivation at the minute thanks to this never-ending job hunt. I have taken a very proactive approach to job hunting, with very little luck, even after plenty of interviews. My family are nothing but supportive telling me something will come along, I just need to believe them.

Moving on from my career adventure, I just want to take a moment to just say how is my little bear nearly 2!! It only seems like 5 minutes ago that I was coming home from the hospital with her, with the big plan on how to be the best parent. Being truly honest, half the stuff I said I wouldn’t do, I probably have done at least once. You could say parenting is done best when you wing it. As long as they are fed and happy then I can’t see much wrong with that.

Now she is nearly 2, we have entered a whole new world of tantrums, meltdowns and the apparent transformation into a parrot repeating everything we say. Her little brain is like a sponge at the minute. Trying to figure out what she is trying to say is possibly the hardest job ever, especially when she says it with so much effort, and I’m just stood there looking at her blankly. Maybe I should start a career in being a toddler translator.

Some of the things we have meltdowns over could be used as material by comedians. It’s no wonder they talk about their kids so much. They are pure comedy gold. It can be caused by anything such as mummy giving her the wrong coloured plate with her lunch on to the simple fact I put the wrong episode of Thomas the Tank on or even the wrong program altogether. You kind of just take a step back and chuckle while pure hell unfolds in front of you. It’s such a hard life.

There are good times though. There is something amazing about watching them grow and take everything in and become so independent. How they can change so much in such a short space of time is just incredible. Over the last couple of weeks, little bears speech has come on so much. To think I was starting to think she would never talk, she now doesn’t stop, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Everyday is a new challenge for me and little bear because she now wants to be so independent, and it’s hard to feel like your slowly not being needed for little things that you used to do for her. Just simple things like cuddling her to sleep on the couch watching rubbish on the tv now happens once in a blue moon and I just hold her that little bit tighter when it does. I’ve learnt to treasure these moments because they really don’t stay little for long. Can I just add it’s a rare occasion that she goes asleep in the day at all, nevermind a sleepy cuddle!

Unfortunately, unlike my career, there is nothing I can do about little bear growing up. I just have to take everyday as it comes and treasure every moment. But on the career front, maybe if I put the effort in I could blog for a living. Possibly by reviewing products or blogging about common interests. Always something I could look into.

On that note, if there is anything in particular you guys would like to see or like me to write about then let me know and I will do my best.

 

Family day out to Royden Park

So the little bear is in love with trains and would happily sit and binge watch Thomas the Tank Engine. I suppose in one way that is good for me because I can get my jobs and cleaning done while she sits mesmerised by the tv with the odd shouts of Choo Choo coming from the living room. Maybe she thinks she’s a train.

When it comes to days out and things to do, my Auntie Sue is the best because she knows all the little attractions and where they are,  so when she messaged saying do we want to go on some little trains in the woods, little bear couldn’t say yes fast enough. We even brought daddy bear with us who when he was little, loved trains as much as little bear does. Maybe thats where she gets it from. If you remember from a post a while back where I mentioned about little bear shouting car every time we walked past one, well I think that has been replaced with trains instead as while we waited in the queue Choo Choo was all she said. 

The first little train we went on was a little red train, just big enough to fit us big kids on. Little bear sat with daddy bear and Alice and I sat with Auntie Sue. I don’t know who was more excited, daddy bear or little bear. He looked like a kid at Christmas. I think if he had it his way, our spare room would house a miniature railway. The little train journey was only about 10 minutes or so round the park but little bear loved every minute of it. 

There are two little trains in Royden Park, so after we came off the little red one, we went and queued for the little steam trains, which were tiny. I’m surprised they managed to pull us big kids around. Again little bear went with daddy bear and I went with Auntie Sue. We looked like right numpties on the train without the little bear, but the conductor told us not to worry and that a little old man had been on it last week by himself. We couldn’t stop giggling the whole way round wondering what people were thinking about us as we went past the queue.

No trip to the park is complete without an ice-cream, but unfortunately they didn’t have my favourite (smarties pop up) so I had a pot instead, with a flake of course. Little bear doesn’t like ice cream so she just had a flake. Nothing beats an ice cream from an ice cream van.

The whole park is free to go to and the train rides are also free but they do ask for a small donation which goes towards keeping the small railways functioning for us to go and enjoy. Hats off the the volunteers who make it possible and give their time to make this a wonderful little day out. I would really recommend this little park for little ones who love trains. We didn’t spend long there, maybe a couple of hours or so, but it is perfect for little trips with little people to keep them entertained for the afternoon. I have attached the link underneath if you want to find out more information about Royden Park and what goes on there. Me and the little bear will definitely be back!

Visit Wirral – Royden Park

Just So Festival 2018

This week has seen a few firsts for me. It has been my first festival and my first time camping. The idea of camping makes me feel all sorts of worried. I quite like my comfy warm bed and the idea of sleeping indoors not on the floor in what is better described as a piece of material with zips on the doors. But hey I thought I would give it a go as it would be a good experience.

So we were asked by little bears grandad and grandma if we wanted to come along to the Just So Festival which is a festival in the middle of Cheshire aimed at young children so we thought it sounded perfect for little bear. She would be able to explore and do things she wouldn’t normally do. We got there on the Friday and set up our tent with grandad. Well I say ‘we’ set up the tent. It was more like he did it because I had no idea what went where or what the different bits were for.

Once we were all set up and fed we went into the festival to have a look to see what it was all about. From the front gate it was clear that this was well planned out and walking through the different areas it was fully aimed at kids from little babies up to big kids like us. I don’t know what I was expecting at a festival but I was really surprised and amazed at the same time. The theming was incredible. I can’t imagine how long it took to set everything up.

After we figured out what was going on and where we were going we went back for tea and an early night (well earlyish) ready for a day in the festival the next day. One of the main parts of the festival was a tribal tournament where people could pick a tribe to join and then one of the tribes would win at the end of the festival. We chose the lion tribe who came 5th overall.

So us being big kids decided we would make an effort and all painted our faces as lions and dressed up as best as we could to get some extra points for our tribe. I have never laughed so much and never felt like such a kid in all my life but it was just the best. When we were all dressed we made our way through to the festival and started our day in the roll up roll up zone where there was amazing street food stands and gin bars. I have never eaten such a nice pizza. I mean what is better than a wood fire cooked pizza. Mmmm.

In the evening there was a lantern parade through the woodland which looked amazing in the woods as it was just going dark. Everything was designed to have some kind of sensory effect and it was quite easy to forget where you were. It was like being transported into a kids fairytale.

As everyone knows with most festivals camping comes hand in hand. I think I went through every emotion during the night from “oh my god we’re going to blow away in the wind” to “this isn’t actually too bad”. Our tent was fab and I think the fact that little bear slept all night both nights just shows how good the tent was. I think I’m just not as much of an outdoorsy person as I thought.

This weekend was probably one of the best weekends I have had and even though I wasn’t sure on the camping side, this festival, the food, the theming and the way the whole thing was run was just incredible and almost as if it was created through the eyes of kids. But one thing I know for certain now is that porta loos really are not what I though, especially after the first day.

I want to thank little bears grandad and grandma for taking us and thanks to everyone from the Just So Festival for making it such a memorable experience. We will definitely be back.

Ice Cream Farm, Sleepovers and New Found Freedom

So I know it has been a while since I posted last but I have had a bit of a boring couple of weeks so not really had much to write about. I should really start making more of an effort to find things to write about I suppose. But i’m back now.

This weekend has been a big milestone for us as little bear had her first sleepover with her cousin. It is safe to say they were both super excited, with little bear dancing on the spot whenever I mentioned it. With her little suitcase and backpack all packed with her overnight stuff, off she went saturday morning for a fun filled day with my auntie and cousin. The one thing I love when my auntie has her is how many photos I get sent. There is nothing better than knowing she is having a fab time and seeing just how happy she is (I know you will read this auntie sue) and she loves your spur of the moment adventures.

After what looked like a fun day out at the Ice Cream Farm, little bear needed a bath, which is a treat for her as we don’t have one at home, just a shower. So she was more than excited to get in. Only problem she wouldn’t get in without my cousin, who happily got in and splashed around with her. All was going well till I got a WhatsApp to say little bear had done a poop in the bath, and that my cousin couldn’t get out fast enough. The one time she decides to poop in the bath is when she is in it with someone else. Typical! That is the one thing she has never done at home though. She usually waits till after her shower and goes on the bathroom floor instead.

Me and daddy bear went on a well deserved night out and we thought now she’s bigger she would be fine having a sleepover. I’m not going to lie though, it was strange when we got in because she wasn’t here. Normally we would get in and then whoever was watching her would go and we would go and check in on her. But this time we just came in and rolled into bed. We are lucky that little bear sleeps through most nights but there was something nice about waking up in the morning whenever we wanted to. Although I did miss my little alarm clock that shouts “mama dada” down the monitor to get our attention. Safe to say there was super hugs and kisses when she got home.

At the minute, if daddy bear is around, I may as well not exist. It’s dada this dada that, which after a day with the little bear is quite nice when he gets home from work. Gives me 5 minutes to regain some sanity and try to get the baby shark song out of my head. Whoever created that, I hate you, but the newest obsession at the minute is Thomas The Tank Engine, accompanied with arm movements by the little bear like she is on a train, and obviously we have to watch episodes back to back.

So I can safely say that little bears first sleepover was a success and now she has had one i’m sure there will be many more to follow. Looks like we slowly start to get our adulthood back now, although I wouldn’t change anything for the world even is she does drive me up the wall.

Picnic at Walton Hall Gardens

For this post today I have a little helper with me, the best cousin in the world. Actually she’s not so little, she is taller than me. She is writing this with me today because she was with us on our day out yesterday to Walton Hall Gardens with the little bear.

Our day out was a trip for a picnic with me, little bear, my cousin and my auntie. We decided that because the weather was so nice we would take a picnic and have a picnic in the park. Bare in mind little bear doesn’t eat lunch like a normal person so picnic for her was a packet of crisps and some raisins. As you can imagine with it being the school holidays mixed with the nice weather, the place was packed, but we still found a good picnic spot.

To start our day off we decided to go on the Thomas the Tank Engine train around the park which I will admit I enjoyed it more than I possibly should have. That much in fact that I asked if we could go on it a second time. I sometimes wonder who is the child and who is the adult. After our fab trip on the train (the first time) we went into children’s zoo which had all sorts of little farm animals such as peacocks, chickens, pigs, ponies and goats. Little bear was in her element as she was able to roam free without being strapped in her pram. Every animal we went passed we had to stop so she could shout “iya” and “ooo’s” which means shoes.

After the little zoo we had our picnic, and a well deserved sit down, for us at least. Little bear doesn’t like to sit down. Even when she’s asleep she still isn’t still. Once our picnic had gone down we had to go in the park which was huge and very busy. As usual we went straight to the swings because they are little bears favourite and she loves being pushed on them. We must have gone around the park about 50 times before we decided that it was time for ice-cream. Because i’m a grown up I got a smarties pop up ice-cream to then be laughed at by my auntie and cousin for having one. I’m sorry but they are the nicest ice-creams ever. Better than a boring 99’er. Little bear doesn’t like ice-cream so she had a flake in a cone on it’s own, as you do. After ice-cream we had another go in the park before I wanted to be a child and go on the train again. This time round we got a free flag with Thomas the Tank Engine on, although little bear didn’t quite understand how flags work and decided to sit on it instead.

Once we got off the train we went for a walk around the beautiful gardens to finish our day off. By this point little bear was well and truly shattered but kept telling us that she wasn’t tired and wasn’t going to go sleep. The fact she fell asleep before we even got out of the car park says it all. I’ll take that as a sign that she had a good day. Walton Hall Gardens is a fab day out and was the perfect place for me to test out the new camera on my iPhone X. I have never used a camera that good. The pictures are just stunning and would recommend it to anyone.

I will definitely be going back as it was a fab day out and perfect for the little bear. Here are some pics from our day out.

Not so sweet and sour

Dealing with allergies is something I have had to deal with myself with hay fever but I never had to deal with anything food related till little bear came along. Once we started weaning we discovered she had an allergy to wheat/gluten and a trip to the dietician not only confirmed this, but also showed that she was highly allergic to eggs. So this made weaning particularly difficult because gluten is in literally everything. Even OXO cubes, stuff you wouldn’t even think to check.

It became a habit checking every label to see what the ingredients were and we temporarily became a gluten free family because it was easier than making two dinners, plus gluten free stuff is so damn expensive, and not the best. Gluten free bread may as well be a bag of breadcrumbs. Theres no point in trying to put butter on it.

But over the last couple of months we have re-introduced gluten into little bears diet and to our surprise, she has been fine and life is back to normal eating tasty food. There are  so many more things she can eat now, even if it something as simple as a rich tea biscuit (which are her new favourite) or a hearty bowl of porridge for breakfast. It also means she can finally eat the same as us at dinner time and indulge on daddy’s amazing home made yorkshire puddings which are just incredible and the size of a small child.

Onto the egg allergy. There is nothing worse than receiving a phone call from a panicked daddy bear telling me to come home quick as little bear has been sick everywhere and is really upset. All sorts run through your head. We have been lucky with her in the sense that she is rarely sick, so when she is, we kinda panic a little. You know when your sick yourself it isn’t nice so I cant begin to imagine what it must be like if your that tiny. I’m not surprised she got scared. She had had sweet and sour chicken for her tea and because she has rice quite a lot, daddy bear didn’t think to check the packet for ingredients. Turns out it had egg in it, hence the sick. It’s safe to say daddy bear felt awful but it wasn’t his fault. She was fine almost straight away and even saying “oh no” whilst crying and pointing at where she was sick. After lots of cuddles and a good nights sleep she is back to normal but is now full of cold and grumpy. Oh it’s a vicious circle.

So now we’ve gotten over the gluten allergy we just need to crack the egg allergy. Pardon the pun!!

Pass me another biscuit

If you remember my post from Sunday you will be well aware that the dreaded diet should have started. It is safe to say that isn’t the case and I am still eating like a pig, in fact i’m currently eating cookies as I type this (don’t judge). My issue is finding something good to track on.

I temporarily joined a weight watchers group but I found after a few weeks I got bored and with it being so hot too, I haven’t been in the mood to point and track everything. So kinda gone backwards in that sense, which led me to have a chat with myself and said enough is enough.

Which led me to the app store and I downloaded and have been using an app called my plate where I can log my food each day. The only issues I have found though is that there aren’t many foods on there that I can find to scan in, which makes planning the day quite difficult. I have always had a bad relationship with food and seem to turn to junk food when i’m feeling down or bored, which really isn’t good. I found weight watchers really helped change that mindset and now the urge to binge of an evening after my tea isn’t there any more. So that’s a positive I suppose.

Again like I said in that post on Sunday about starting running next week, I think I will just enjoy the rest of this week and try to find an app that will help me track my food too. Oh the joys of wanting to be organised haha.

I’m guessing the purpose of this post is to maybe try and find what other people have used and if it has helped them in any way, and hopefully I can try some of those methods. So please feel free to comment what you have tried and tested and your results to give me some ideas on where to go.

Chin up spud

What an up and down week this has been, hence the reason for no post on Wednesday. (sorry about that). It has been one thing after another getting me down, from a moody toddler to rejections from job interviews. But today is Sunday, which means tomorrow is Monday and that means a new, fresh week where I can put this week behind me and think more possitivly.

So now i’ve finished uni the chore of job hunting has begun. Safe to say I haven’t been successful yet so i’m not quite on my way to becoming a millionaire, but scouring the internet for hours of an evening applying for everything I can surely means something good is coming. After all it only takes one yes!

Well, the little bear has been beyond challenging this week, from the tantrums because I gave her the wrong cup or the simple fact that I haven’t got a car, to which she is very annoyed at and shows this by standing at the door shouting car mummy car at me, or mimi car mimi car (mimi is my sister but she cant quite say Aimee). It goes a little like this; little bear “mummy car”, me “we haven’t got a car sweetheart”, little bear “mimi car mimi car”, me “no were not seeing mimi today”. Here come the tears followed by another “mummy car” while I slowly take a deep breath and calmly reply “WE HAVEN’T GOT A CAR”. This happened everyday this week. And then when daddy gets in it’s like I don’t even exist. It’s dada this and dada that.

To add to my already awful week the diet which I should have started last Monday has also completely gone out the window. I’m going to put all I have eaten this week down to stress and comfort eating because i’ve needed it. Being rejected 6 times in one day is enough to make anyone grab the ice-cream. Pass me a spoon. I’ve now got it in my mind that I for some reason want to take up running and introduce myself into the crazy world of 5k to half marathons because why not. Sitting on the couch all day watching Corrie on catch up really isn’t going to shift this weight. Hey maybe I could go running with the pram, but I can see that going horribly wrong already so I think I will pass on that one. Downloading the couch to 5k app counts as a good start right!!

So heres to a new week and a fresh start to change my mindset to positive because nothing good comes from negative thinking, so I will repeat to myself this week I will get that job and I will start my diet. And to quote my favourite film;

“You know what’s great about hitting rock bottom, there’s only one way left to go, and that’s up!”

Alan Titchmarsh eat your heart out

Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I would be landscaping the garden, but that’s exactly what we did. After 3 trips to B&M and a trip to the garden centre, it is safe to say that my garden now looks more like a garden centre display than a neglected jungle with toys. Obviously with having the little bear, we needed to make sure she was safe so opted for bark rather than stones, which surprisingly looks better than I thought it would. And no garden is complete without lights that make it look like a runway at Heathrow Airport. Let’s see how long they last before darling child is running around with them trying to lick them, because that’s what kids do.

I don’t know about you but trying to keep an 18 month old entertained long enough while we dug and and moved the extra turf out onto the drive is quite difficult. There’s only so many snacks you can throw at them before they clock onto what you are trying to do. We had 2 near escapes and 1 when we thought she had escaped but madam had snuck into the house. Bless her though she did try her best to help in the end by copying daddy with the garden brush to brush the bark over her new play area with a little proud look on her face when she had finished. Maybe gardening is her thing.

It was quite strange doing my garden without my mum as it was something we used to always do together, even when I moved out. I always loved every summer we would take a day trip to the garden centre with me, my mum and my sister where we would be treated to lunch in the cafe and then be allowed to pick some plants. Then we would go home, leave my dad snoring on the couch with cup of tea in hand and go outside and plant them all. She always knew which plants went with what and how many to put in. I mean you could ask her what any flower was called and she would have no trouble in telling you the name and when it should be planted.

There was a point when doing my pots that I could have done with texting or phoning my mum to ask her if I had done them right, and it’s days like these where I miss her the most but I finally figured it out. You could say I managed to channel my inner Alan Titchmarsh and my pots look great. In fact the whole garden looks great and the little bear approves.

Its’s not coming home then…

The last time I felt this emotional and stressed would have to be coming home from hospital after having my little bear. It’s safe to say that this was a sad house last night, but then what do I expect when I live with a sports mad man. Miserable is an understatement. Now i’m not saying I don’t like sports, but I don’t think I am as emotionally attached as some people (insert boyfriends name). And anyway, the real football doesn’t start till September when the NFL comes back on. COME ON COWBOYS!!

Because of the football, little bear stayed up way past her bedtime but wasn’t really bothered by the football. She was more bothered about how many times she could go down her slide before she got dizzy going round and round and how many people she could annoy by her newest trick of screaming. Very. Very. Loud. It doesn’t help that Auntie MiMi encourages her by shouting “Ella scream” at her, to which her response is an ear piercing scream.

Aside from the football I think I can safely say that my better half really does make the best bbq’s, unlike my dad who thinks that everyone likes their burgers and sausages well done with a charcoal coating. His veg is even worse (sorry dad).

In this house, the nice weather brings out the bbq chef in the better half to the point where your known by your neighbours as “the house that has the bbq’s” so it’s hard to not think do you have them too often, but then if you can’t enjoy the sun by eating amazing food then when can you.

I’m just hoping now that we really are coming home that it doesn’t mean summer is over and the rain arrives, (it’s raining as I write this) because to be honest i’m loving this weather and it means I can get out and do so much more with the little bear, rather than being stuck in looking out the window while she points and says ‘car’ every time she looks at one. I mean it’s cute at first but when your out for what should be a 10 minute walk, which takes 20 minutes because you have to stop at every driveway that has a car on it and be told by a small human there is a car there, then it’s not so cute.

But who am I to complain. There’s nothing cuter than a 1 1/2 year old trying to talk even if it is to tell you about something which you don’t really need to know about. The joys of kids eh!

Start of a new chapter

Well it’s been a while since I was last here. I guess university took over my life the last 12 months with deadlines, exams and dissertations. But thats all done now and I can proudly say I DID IT. I don’t know what is more surreal, the fact that the last 4 years have flown by or the fact that come Tuesday I will accept my degree and move onto the next chapter in my life. I would be lying if I said that I have enjoyed every part of university because there are definitely some parts I would not want to do again, but for the most part it has been life changing.

University has been amazing and one of the best things I have ever done. Fair enough I wasn’t a typical student out every weekend, but that just isn’t me. Instead I got through uni with plenty of sleep and very few hangovers (there have been some). The best part for me was meeting so many different people along the way and having that sense of pride when you meet that deadline or finish that exam. There is no feeling quite like it but I really couldn’t have done it without the support from my better half and the little bear. They really are the people who motivated me to go back and finish my degree. If one thing, I know for a fact my mum would have been proud of me. Finishing uni was one of the promises I made to her before we said goodbye and she will be watching down on me on Tuesday I just know it.

So what’s next. Well I now have the time to get back into what I love and start blogging about my life as a mama bear now that this new chapter in my life begins. I’m sure now the little bear is getting older there will be plenty of things for me to talk about just how funny raising kids can be, and to take the seriousness out of it all because lets face it, life’s too short!!