Soft play all day

I am sure you are all aware of or have been to a soft play centre if you have children under a certain age. They seem to be everywhere. If you have been then you will know what I mean when I say they are full of hyperactive kids letting off steam.

Me and the Little bear had our first experience with soft play areas a couple of weeks ago on a play date with Little bears best friend. The weather wasn’t the best and my friend messaged me asking if I was free and wanted to kill some time. She suggested the soft play near me called Fun4All, which is like a stay and play and priced on age, so for our little ones it was £4 each, and adults are £1, so a fairly cheap afternoon out.

The moment we walked in Little bears eyes lit up as if to say “I can run around and you won’t tell me to stop this, stop that, put that down”. And I naively thought me and my friend could sit down, watch the kids play and have a drink. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The little bear being who she is wasn’t satisfied with the area designated for her age range. No!! She wanted to go and play in the big play area where the big kids played. Because nothing says fun like somewhere where your not supposed to be.

Obviously, because this area is designed for kids aged 4+ it is a lot bigger than the baby and toddler section. This meant that I had the joy of having to run around the soft play helping Little bear get up and down the parts her legs were too little to do themselves. My poor friend ended up sitting on her own watching our things while I was running around having the time of my life going up funny stairs, down slides and sliding through the rollers like the ones in a car wash. Honestly, I went for the Little bear’s enjoyment, not mine.

After a few goes round it was safe to say I was knackered and closed nearly all three rings on my Apple Watch, but I needed a rest. So because I’m such a nice friend, I let her have a go. Can I just add, she wasn’t best pleased, but did it anyway. Between us, we decided to take it in turns to take both the kids and then switch out after a few goes round so we could recharge ready for the next go.

If I had to pick the best part it would be the slide, because who doesn’t love a slide. Little bear flew down laughing her little socks off, but when my friend went down, I swear she went the speed of a plane taking off a runway. I wouldn’t be surprised if she got some actual air time.

After a couple of hours, we came away from the soft play, and I really don’t know who was more tired. Us or the kids. Again Little bear being who she is decided that she still wasn’t tired enough for a sleep on the way home so guess who had to deal with an emotional, irrational toddler till bedtime. Wine was definitely needed that night!

I haven’t been back to a soft play since, not because it wasn’t fun, I just haven’t had a chance, or anyone to go with. But me and Little bear do regularly go to mums and tots group which I don’t think get enough credit as soft plays. They are usually run by people taking time out their day to organise and keep them going.

The local tots group we go to is only a 5-minute walk from where we live and it gives the Little bear the perfect opportunity to interact and play with other kids her age. I think because she loves rough and tumble kind of play, due to having older family members, she prefers playing with the older kids, or boys. Normally the boys though. She is such a little flirt. And by going to these, it takes the tiny bit of guilt I feel that she is missing out because she is not in a nursery as of yet. But that’s a story for another day.

Not only is it good for Little bear to mix with other kids her age, but it also gives me the chance to mix with other parents who have similar interests and things in common with me. That’s the one thing I wish someone had told me before having Little bear, as to just how lonely being a mum can be. Don’t get me wrong it is amazing getting to spend every day watching my Little bear grow up and become the little character she is today, but sometimes it’s nice to speak to someone about something other than Peppa Pig.

The older Little bear gets, the more independent she wants to be and I think that soft play and tots groups give her the opportunity to do this in a safe place where she can make her own decisions and interact with other little people trying to do the same thing.

DISCLOSURE: This post contains my opinion and views, and I didn’t receive any kind of payment, product or promotion from the companies mentioned

So long 2018 – Hello new me

So now new year has been and gone the internet is inundated with “new year, new me” posts and pledges to change for the better now that 2018 is behind them. I too am one of these people. 2018 was a year of ups and downs for me. It was the anniversary of losing my mum, I finally graduated university and my Little bear turned 2. So it’s definitely been a full year. And yes I am kind of glad to see the back of it.

Graduation was the highlight of my year, and finishing University is probably up there with one of my biggest achievements, apart from having the Little bear of course. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy especially having a scrambled brain from everything else going on in the background, but being organised really helped me keep on top of things. People who know me well know that I am a lists kind of person. The type of person who makes a list for the smallest of things from cleaning to the usual shopping list. I guess I feel a sense of achievement crossing stuff off my lists.

Another highlight of the year has to be the summer. I can’t remember the last time we had a summer that good. England was almost coming home and the constant nice weather seemed to lift everyone’s mood. And living with a tech person has its benefits in the summer too by being able to wire up the tv so it could work in the garden.

And let’s not forget the BBQ’s. My house where I live is better known as the house that has the BBQ’s. Call me mad but even in the winter, it wouldn’t be unusual for Daddy bear to whip out a disposable BBQ to finish off homemade Nandos chicken because as he puts it “it tastes better”.

So what does 2019 have in store for me. Well not much in the way of big events coming up, but I have decided that this is going to be the year for me. It’s nothing extreme or anything like that or completely changing who I am, but just little things that make me happy. I’m working with a fab personal trainer who believed in me enough to choose to work with me, and keeps me on track with exercise and nutrition. So far I am enjoying every second of it, and after having a nice break over Christmas, I am more than ready to get back on it in time for this summer. With the help of him and the group of girls who are so motivating, there’s nothing stopping me.

But I’ve found since having Little bear I seem to have forgotten who I am as a person and just become a mum. But not any more. As of now I am making time for me and enjoying being who I am because let’s face it, I’m still young, even if I don’t feel it.

Christmas isn’t quite the same anymore

I know it’s been a while since I last posted. In fact, it’s been a good couple of months. This time of year is a busy time of year when you have a Little bear who’s birthday is the week before Christmas. It’s gets to the point where it all just rolls into one big day of expensiveness.

So now the Little bear is a big 2 and my god have we hit the terrible twos with a bang. We’ve also learnt the word no and love to shout it at every opportunity as loud as we can if we don’t agree with what mummy says or does. Not cool! If you have ever tried to negotiate with a 2-year-old then you will understand. There’s just no reasoning with them, and I just take a step back and watch as my precious child lies face down crying into the floor because an episode of Peppa Pig finished.

Being honest though, every day just gets better the older she gets. She becomes more and more like my little best friend each and every day, and we kind of have little conversations where only I know what she is saying. Not going to lie, they aren’t the most intellectual conversations and usually consist of her pointing out cars, more cars, more trees or her telling everybody we pass her name and how old she is. Looks like she is going to be a chatterbox when she starts properly talking. God help me.

Christmas is an expensive time of year as it is, so having Little bears birthday 6 days before the big day really does add to the cost. Not so much at the minute with her being so young and not really understanding, but I’m sure she will make up for it when she gets older. Even so, she still asked for certain things this year. Three things to be specific. All she wanted for her birthday and Christmas this year was a car, a baby and a choo-choo. It looks like she must have been super good this year because she got everything she asked for, and more.

Instead of staying at home like last year where Daddy bear cooked, we all went out for Christmas dinner. There’s nothing like not having to wash up on Christmas Day, but I do feel bad for the people who do have to work on Christmas day because this time of year especially, should be spent with family.

One thing I appreciate more than ever since losing mum is just how important family is and how we take them for granted sometimes. I love Christmas, I always have done but there is a definite hole at the table and inside all of us at this time of year. She was the life and soul of any party and she would light up any room she walked into.

Last Christmas Aimee got me one of the best presents I have ever had. It was a canvas of a photo of Mum and Little bear from when she was only a couple of months old. It was only right to put it in Little bears room, and every night me and her say goodnight and blow Nana Dot a kiss before she goes down to sleep. She won’t let me put her down without doing it. I do wonder sometimes if Little bear speaks to her.

But it’s not quite the same as her really being here, and it’s slowly getting easier. I don’t like to admit it but I have had my fair share of up’s and downs over the last couple of weeks, but having friends and family all around really helps keep me up, especially Little bear. I really don’t know what I would do without her.

She really is a diamond in the rough in all this and makes getting up in the morning 100% worth it. The best part is she doesn’t even know how special she is, but I will be sure to tell her every day just how much I love her and just how much she is like her Nana Dot, from the way she walks to the way her facial expressions are just the image of what her Nana used to do.

God help us all if we’ve got another one on my hands.

Always my sister, Always my friend

This post is going to be a special post for my little sister because it was her birthday this week.

I say little sister. She was 19 this week so no longer little really. More like a grown woman now. It really does feel like yesterday when we were young with no responsibilities.

Having a sister is like having a best friend who will never leave. No matter how many arguments and fallouts you have you always seem to find a way to laugh it off and before you know it your back to being best friends again. It is someone to tell your secrets to, someone to moan to (and about) and someone who you know will be there for you no matter what.

Some of my best memories have been with her and if she is reading this she will know what I am on about. Being the big sister, it is my responsibility to try my best to wind her up as much as possible. There were times when looking back now it’s hard to imagine how she got through her childhood undamaged.

Does anyone remember them games people used to send you and you had to go dead close to the screen to find something and then something scary would jump out. Well, I thought it would be funny to show this to her.

She must have been around 7 or 8, and she unknowingly sat in front of the computer then out of nowhere this thing jumped out. And she screamed. Lots. I got into so much trouble by my mum. Don’t get me wrong, she gave back as good as she got. For example, if we were play fighting she would pretend to be hurt and would shout something like “Oww, get off”, and guess who got into trouble. ME! The one thing I admire about her is that she doesn’t let anyone walk all over her.

We weren’t always out to get each other. The nicest memory and something I miss now we’re older is how special Christmas used to be, and how we used to plan the whole thing from what time we would go to bed to what time we could sneak out of my room unnoticed to get our presents sacks from the landing.

This would take weeks of planning, and we even used to create a plan of the night. Sounds sad I know but we were young. We never really stuck to the plan and normally fell asleep before midnight. In the morning we would go into mum and dads room and she would always sit on mums legs and me on dads and we would open our presents.

There are too many things I could write here and I’m sure we have many memories to make in the future, but the reason for this post is a bit more than just because it’s her birthday.

It’s a chance for me to say how proud I am of her and how far she has come from such a bad place when our world fell apart. No one should have to go through that so young. She has grown into a beautiful strong woman and if anything losing our mum has shown me is just how true this is.

And I can’t finish this post without mentioning just how much of an incredible auntie she is to little bear.

Always remember, your always my sister, always my friend.

 

When did you get so big?​

I really need to get back into the habit of writing on here more often because I seem to have dropped off.  I feel that it might be down to my lack of motivation at the minute thanks to this never-ending job hunt. I have taken a very proactive approach to job hunting, with very little luck, even after plenty of interviews. My family are nothing but supportive telling me something will come along, I just need to believe them.

Moving on from my career adventure, I just want to take a moment to just say how is my little bear nearly 2!! It only seems like 5 minutes ago that I was coming home from the hospital with her, with the big plan on how to be the best parent. Being truly honest, half the stuff I said I wouldn’t do, I probably have done at least once. You could say parenting is done best when you wing it. As long as they are fed and happy then I can’t see much wrong with that.

Now she is nearly 2, we have entered a whole new world of tantrums, meltdowns and the apparent transformation into a parrot repeating everything we say. Her little brain is like a sponge at the minute. Trying to figure out what she is trying to say is possibly the hardest job ever, especially when she says it with so much effort, and I’m just stood there looking at her blankly. Maybe I should start a career in being a toddler translator.

Some of the things we have meltdowns over could be used as material by comedians. It’s no wonder they talk about their kids so much. They are pure comedy gold. It can be caused by anything such as mummy giving her the wrong coloured plate with her lunch on to the simple fact I put the wrong episode of Thomas the Tank on or even the wrong program altogether. You kind of just take a step back and chuckle while pure hell unfolds in front of you. It’s such a hard life.

There are good times though. There is something amazing about watching them grow and take everything in and become so independent. How they can change so much in such a short space of time is just incredible. Over the last couple of weeks, little bears speech has come on so much. To think I was starting to think she would never talk, she now doesn’t stop, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Everyday is a new challenge for me and little bear because she now wants to be so independent, and it’s hard to feel like your slowly not being needed for little things that you used to do for her. Just simple things like cuddling her to sleep on the couch watching rubbish on the tv now happens once in a blue moon and I just hold her that little bit tighter when it does. I’ve learnt to treasure these moments because they really don’t stay little for long. Can I just add it’s a rare occasion that she goes asleep in the day at all, nevermind a sleepy cuddle!

Unfortunately, unlike my career, there is nothing I can do about little bear growing up. I just have to take everyday as it comes and treasure every moment. But on the career front, maybe if I put the effort in I could blog for a living. Possibly by reviewing products or blogging about common interests. Always something I could look into.

On that note, if there is anything in particular you guys would like to see or like me to write about then let me know and I will do my best.

 

Chin up spud

What an up and down week this has been, hence the reason for no post on Wednesday. (sorry about that). It has been one thing after another getting me down, from a moody toddler to rejections from job interviews. But today is Sunday, which means tomorrow is Monday and that means a new, fresh week where I can put this week behind me and think more possitivly.

So now i’ve finished uni the chore of job hunting has begun. Safe to say I haven’t been successful yet so i’m not quite on my way to becoming a millionaire, but scouring the internet for hours of an evening applying for everything I can surely means something good is coming. After all it only takes one yes!

Well, the little bear has been beyond challenging this week, from the tantrums because I gave her the wrong cup or the simple fact that I haven’t got a car, to which she is very annoyed at and shows this by standing at the door shouting car mummy car at me, or mimi car mimi car (mimi is my sister but she cant quite say Aimee). It goes a little like this; little bear “mummy car”, me “we haven’t got a car sweetheart”, little bear “mimi car mimi car”, me “no were not seeing mimi today”. Here come the tears followed by another “mummy car” while I slowly take a deep breath and calmly reply “WE HAVEN’T GOT A CAR”. This happened everyday this week. And then when daddy gets in it’s like I don’t even exist. It’s dada this and dada that.

To add to my already awful week the diet which I should have started last Monday has also completely gone out the window. I’m going to put all I have eaten this week down to stress and comfort eating because i’ve needed it. Being rejected 6 times in one day is enough to make anyone grab the ice-cream. Pass me a spoon. I’ve now got it in my mind that I for some reason want to take up running and introduce myself into the crazy world of 5k to half marathons because why not. Sitting on the couch all day watching Corrie on catch up really isn’t going to shift this weight. Hey maybe I could go running with the pram, but I can see that going horribly wrong already so I think I will pass on that one. Downloading the couch to 5k app counts as a good start right!!

So heres to a new week and a fresh start to change my mindset to positive because nothing good comes from negative thinking, so I will repeat to myself this week I will get that job and I will start my diet. And to quote my favourite film;

“You know what’s great about hitting rock bottom, there’s only one way left to go, and that’s up!”

Start of a new chapter

Well it’s been a while since I was last here. I guess university took over my life the last 12 months with deadlines, exams and dissertations. But thats all done now and I can proudly say I DID IT. I don’t know what is more surreal, the fact that the last 4 years have flown by or the fact that come Tuesday I will accept my degree and move onto the next chapter in my life. I would be lying if I said that I have enjoyed every part of university because there are definitely some parts I would not want to do again, but for the most part it has been life changing.

University has been amazing and one of the best things I have ever done. Fair enough I wasn’t a typical student out every weekend, but that just isn’t me. Instead I got through uni with plenty of sleep and very few hangovers (there have been some). The best part for me was meeting so many different people along the way and having that sense of pride when you meet that deadline or finish that exam. There is no feeling quite like it but I really couldn’t have done it without the support from my better half and the little bear. They really are the people who motivated me to go back and finish my degree. If one thing, I know for a fact my mum would have been proud of me. Finishing uni was one of the promises I made to her before we said goodbye and she will be watching down on me on Tuesday I just know it.

So what’s next. Well I now have the time to get back into what I love and start blogging about my life as a mama bear now that this new chapter in my life begins. I’m sure now the little bear is getting older there will be plenty of things for me to talk about just how funny raising kids can be, and to take the seriousness out of it all because lets face it, life’s too short!!

Back to reality

How naive was I to think that my time off on maternity would go slow. Here I am, 4 weeks away from going back to work and my what once was a new born is now 7 1/2 months old. It feels as if I have blinked and POOF!. I must be mad but i’m looking forward to going back to work and most of all I’m looking forward to going back to uni.

Some people may think i’ve done things a bit backwards, having a baby while I’m in university, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Don’t get me wrong its going to be hard but hard work never killed anybody, right? If anything it will give me more motivation to do well because  there is a little person who looks up to me now!

I think leaving her at will be the hardest part when I go back. I really am going to miss the days just sat with my little bear having snuggles in our pjs. But I know she will be in safe hands whether she is in nursery, or with one of her amazing grandparents. It will make coming home mean so much more, when I can have the biggest bear hugs ever.

My partner always says how hard it is going to work everyday and not seeing her all day watching her learn new things. Somehow I don’t think I will completely appreciate the sacrifice he has made going back to work when she was only 3 weeks old, until I’m in that position myself.

I know the best is yet to come and I’m looking forward to having a schedule back. I think knowing that my little bear is looking up to me makes me want to do her proud every day so that one day when she’s old enough, she can be proud to call me mummy.

Where has the time gone

Everyone tells you when you have a baby that time goes too quick and they really aren’t lying. By the time you sit down, it’s 10pm, you’ve had tea and going back to bed ready for another day. But the last 3 months have just dissapeard, too quickly if i’m being really honest, and  seeing how much she has grown and changed in that time is just amazing.

Gone are the days where i’m sat twiddling my thumbs thinking what to do with my time. Now each day is filled with feeding, changing nappies, more feeding, cleaning bottles and even more feeding. It’s a vicious 4 hour circle! My day is now split into four hour mini days where finding time to have some breakfast or lunch, or even get a shower proves difficult.

Not only do the days whiz by, but trying to find time to see friends is tough. Before you know it, it has been 2 months since you last had a girls night, or even just a catch up. I become so engrossed in this little bubble I call home, that I sometimes forget that I still need time for myself. I am so lucky to have my partner though, who reminds me every week to take some time out for myself. On the weekends, he takes the bear cub out to see the grandparents or even just for a walk so I have got some time to just do nothing, but I somehow end up cleaning the house 99% of the time.

I wouldn’t say I miss my free time as much as I thought I would, but then I was never big on going out every weekend anyway.

But really there is nothing better than spending my time looking after my bear cub, who gets more and more interesting everyday now that she is older. The best part is sitting down for quite possibly the best cuddles I have ever had while she sleeps in my arms.

Motherhood truly is the best thing I have ever done with my time!